Get a burglar for your garden. Every home should have one.
Shana was busy checking the email a few minutes ago. I, as usual, was engrossed in a book. And the telly was idling in the background (just keeping the valves warm, you know), with one of those inane home/garden makeover shows on Channel Five.
“What was that? Did someone on that programme say ‘burglar’?” Shana asked. Suddenly, she realised what the presenter had actually said. “No, it was ‘pergola’, wasn’t it?” she said.
“I think you could be right,” I said, only half aware even of what day it was, never mind what some gardening guru was droning on about.
We were both immediately drawn to the idea, though, of having a burglar in the garden. It’s not so bad, as long as they don’t make off with your best lawnmower. (Sod it, they’re welcome to the rusty old Qualcast if they’re that desperate.)
Perhaps every home should have its own burglar in the garden. Train some dog roses over the blighters and the thorns might encourage them to change their criminal ways. Gotta be worth a try, hasn’t it?
Chris