The Frumplingtons

We have only just got over the trauma of what happened to us yesterday morning: We only wanted to go to a few shops in town; browse among some secondhand books, hover around in the haberdasher’s, that sort of thing. But first, we had to stop off at a cashpoint machine. Now, taking money out of our account, even for essential items, can be traumatic enough; we’re not rich, you know (at least, not rich enough to have one of those First Direct accounts anyway). So a few deep breaths were needed before punching in the amount of cash we required. Imagine then our distress when, after taking the money out of the slot and while waiting for the advice slip to spit itself out, an announcement appeared on the ATM screen, something like this:

PLEASE TAKE YOUR MONEY AND DISPOSE OF YOUR RECEIPT CAREFULLY

KEEP BRITAIN TIDY

“What, all of Britain?” I said. “Britain in its entirety? Including all those remote islands round the coast of Scotland?”

“I assume that’s what it means,” Shana agreed.

It’s a bit of a tall order, I thought. And anyway, I’m not very good under pressure.

“But…but,” I blubbed, “There’s only two of us! And besides, it wasn’t us that messed the place up to begin with.”

Maybe I should simply stop taking everything quite so literally eh? Life would be so much easier.

Chris