The Frumplingtons

Last Tuesday we faced a difficult decision. We wanted to put up a curtain rail. We drilled. We hit rock. We threw down our tools in despair.

“We’ll have to get a man in,” said Shana. And so, after ten minutes’ surfing through the phone book, we arranged to get someone from Rent-A-Gent in Lincoln to come and do the job properly.

This afternoon, by four o’ clock, we had the rail we wanted. Two rails in fact. Installed for a very reasonable price. And beautifully straight they are too. Our animal print curtains are back up and can now be seen in their full glory, rather than hanging limply from the horrible plastic curtain track they were on before. Our new floor length red velvety drapes are also up at the front windows. The place is starting to look quite smart.

The problem we had last week with this seemingly simple DIY job turned out to have had a very simple cause: my hammer drill is, alas, not powerful enough. It is, you might say, positively feeble.

Shana will now lead the singing, accompanied by the Frumplingtons Chorale, and me on bongoes. There will be three verses of “Chris is using puny tools/Doo-dah…Doo-dah/Chris is using puny tools/Doo-di-doo-dah-day…”

There will then be a whip-round to raise cash to buy me some new DIY gear. This time there will be no messing: I shall be investing in what I believe is referred to as ’serious kit’; starting with a bigger spirit level, because the one I use at the moment is about the same length as my little finger and, as Shana is fond (perhaps a bit too fond?) of pointing out, resembles the sort of implement normally found as a prize in Christmas crackers.

Chris