The Frumplingtons

[The Fantasy Night Garden theme continues…]

CBeebies kids’ show In the Night Garden… is not only a hit with younger viewers: it also has a cult following among a large percentage of Britain’s adults.

We are currently compiling a dossier on ITNG regular, Igglepiggle. When it’s finished, we intend to present it to the Director of Public Prosecutions. You see, we are convinced that Igglepiggle is a delinquent. We reckon he has committed a catalogue of petty crimes, including the following:

• Criminal damage: in a recent episode, Igglepiggle knocked over two piles of stones, not long after Makka Pakka had cleaned and tidied them.
• Causing an obstruction on the public highway by dropping his red blanket in the middle of Makka Pakka’s driveway.
• Trespass (note: this offence is usually dealt with in the civil courts but we feel it worthy of mention here) by going to sleep in Upsy Daisy’s bed without permission.
• Littering, by dropping his large red blanket on the Pontipines’ tiny house. The Pontipine family might also wish to claim compensation due to the stress caused by this incident.
• Fare dodging: Igglepiggle has never been seen buying a ticket before boarding the Ninky Nonk local train. If the fare dodging charge doesn’t stick, the operators of the Ninky Nonk might instead wish to pursue a claim for the costs of cleaning their train’s upholstery after one episode where Igglepiggle fell in a patch of mud (or possibly a cowpat?) and not only got covered in mud himself but also got it all over Upsy Daisy’s clothes and also on the Ninky Nonk’s seats.

As you can see, when we’re done with our Night Garden incident log, Igglepiggle is gonna have a rap sheet as long as your arm. (Unless, that is, you happen to be pudgy little Makka Pakka, who only has short arms.)

We think Igglepiggle knows we’re onto him though, as he has not been seen for a while. We would therefore like to take this opportunity to issue a photofit picture of Igglepiggle. If you see him, do not approach him. Instead, just phone your local police station.

Details of suspect:

Name - Igglepiggle.
Age - Juvenile.
Height - Approx 2′2″
Distinguishing features - Blue fur, red blanket, cheeky grin

It is important to note, however, that since going on the run, Igglepiggle might have changed his appearance. Here is an artist’s impression of how he might look now.

It’s still only Igglepiggle though, so don’t have nightmares.