You’ve heard of slide guitar: now here’s slice guitar. It’s like normal guitar music (plucking, strumming and posing) but played on an egg slicer instead of a Stratocaster.
Egg slicer guitar sounds best if, as illustrated below, you use an authentic eggshell plectrum.
If enough of us got together with homemade instruments, we could probably revive skiffle. By the way, I also play ‘kitchen percussion’ (i.e., improvised kit of lo-fat spread tubs, butter knife, saucepan lids etc), so in a way I’m a bit like the Phil Collins of neo-skiffle: sometimes up front, sometimes at the back.
I’ve even started writing songs for the egg slicer, starting with a new version of an old Beatles classic:
Eggshell ma belle
These are words that go together well,
My eggshell
What I’m wondering, though, is whether to bother with all the acoustic stuff. Why not go electric right from the start? Now, all I have to do is hotwire the slicer into our hi-fi speakers, attach a wah-wah pedal and…
BOOM!!!!
(Oops. If anyone asks, you haven’t seen me round here, ok?)

geoff said:
I am the eggshell
I am the omelette
Coo coo ca choo!
July 11, 2008
Chris said:
July 11, 2008
Ed said:
I like the new looks of this blog and laughed at your kitchen orchestra. Moreover I know the Beatles whereas I don’t know anything about Amy Winehouse, therefore I couldn’t be aware of the trauma.
July 12, 2008
Chris said:
Thanks, Ed. I’m pleased you like the blog’s new look. We found the duck in a secondhand shop several months ago. Fun, isn’t he?
Now, about Amy Winehouse. If you don’t know her music, go and buy her latest album. Go and buy it right now. It will be …
… an experience!
July 12, 2008